Saturday, December 13, 2008

Our Christmas Party


Thanksgiving has come and gone and Christmas is just around the corner. I absolutely love the sounds of Christmas and hearing songs about the Savior. Last night was our church & academy Christmas party. Have I mentioned how spoiled we are? We are so blessed to have such a loving pastor & church. I can't believe I get paid for doing what I love!

Upon entering the pastor's house we were given a roll of pennies to be saved for later that night. Then, we had a delicious 4 course meal which ended in triple chocolate cheesecake. It was the best! After a short devotional emphasizing that "life doesn't get better than this," the games began. Our pastor's son announced that we would be having an auction and we would be using our roll of pennies to bid on various wrapped gifts. It was tons of fun! I waited to bid on lot#37 because 3 and 7 are my favorite numbers. I unwrapped my gift and guess what I got for only 25 cents? A rotten apple and....... a $50 gift card to Wal-Mart. What a blessing! God definitely provides. I needed exactly $50 to pay for my perscription medicine. Guess where I get my medicine from? That's right~Wal-Mart. God is so good and always takes care of His children.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

And He Always Provides

After hearing the wonderful news about my mom, and my students doing a fabulous job on their program, I was on a high. I gave a praise the next morning in our meeting about God’s goodness, and our principal responded with, “Just wait...”. Those may not have been his exact words, but he was alluding to the fact that in the Christian life there are ups and downs. We’ve all heard the saying, “You’re either in a trial, just come out of one, or just about to go into one.” I don’t particularly like this saying, but I’ve found it to be true. It seems as if when all is going well, something happens to test your faith. Nothing that is out of God’s control, but I often respond like it’s the end of the world. On Thursday, here comes my trial. I know a trial strengthens your faith, produces patience, shows you your points of weakness and your need of dependence on God, and makes you realize that God is in control of all things, BUT…I just wish at the time, I didn’t have to go through them. Now at the end of the trial, I can always look back and thank the Lord for the lessons I’ve learned about myself and what He has revealed to me about Himself.

On Thursday, during my lunch break, I ran home for a couple of minutes. It was a trying day at school and I just wanted to get away and relax. As I walked out the door and approached my car, I noticed something shiny by my tire. I must have ran over a bolt, because there it was glistening in the sun. After school, I go to Discount Tires, thinking this is an easy fix. So… the tire guy inspects my car and tells me some devastating news. All of my tires need to be replaced because they’re cracking, and it’s going to cost $305.00 to fix. So...how do I respond? Do I thank Mr. Tire Guy for his wonderful news? Do I thank the Lord for showing me that I needed new tires before I travelled home for Thanksgiving? NO…I get into my car and I start to cry like a big baby. What a pity party! I started thinking how in the world was I going to come up with the money to pay for new tires. I asked the Lord why this was happening. I call my mom and I start crying to her. I then call my stepdad to ask if there is anyway he can help me, and he says he’ll see. I do pray throughout my crying session, but I know it wasn’t a prayer of complete faith. I always have faith for others, but it seems that I have the most doubts when it comes to my own situations, even though God has proven His provision time and time again. I drive my car to the church where it can be towed easily, should the air leak out of the tire with the bolt, and my roommate drives me home.

I get home and I pray for God’s miraculous provision. I call my best friend, Rebecca, who is one of the best listeners I know, and she encourages me with God’s Word. What a day! My faith is renewed and I know God will work it out somehow. The next day gets better, as my mom calls me and tells me that my brother is going to help me and my stepdad will call me on Saturday morning. This morning comes, and he calls, my brother gave him $100 and together they are going to pay for my tires. What a blessing, huh? Well… I was beyond elated that they were going to buy my tires and I was thankful to the Lord that He provided through them, but…my stepdad is unsaved and with me working in ministry, I didn’t want him to have a bad perception of church and ministry. I’m sure he wasn’t thinking that, but I was. So my roommate follows me to Discount Tires where I drop my car off and my stepdad pays for my tires by phone. The tire place even gave me a discounted rate, now my tires were going to cost $279 and some change. Another blessing!!! My roommate and I then leave my car there and we run some errands. While in a store, my phone rings, it’s the church secretary. She tells me that someone donated $280 towards fixing my tires. I never told the church that I needed new tires. I kept saying, “Are you serious?” I felt like jumping up and down in the store because God knows my heart. Now, I can give my stepdad and my brother back their money, and it’s a testimony on how God provides for His children when they serve him. I called my unsaved stepdad and he said that someone must have heard his prayers. Well we all know who that Someone was. The Lord is so good…all the time, and He always provides even when our faith is weak.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Thank You For Your Prayers

Today was a busy day!!! My kindergarteners had their Thanksgiving program. Our class performs 3 programs a year, and today they had their very 1st one. After 2 months of practicing and praying, the day finally arrived. My students were dressed oh so very cute in their Pilgrim & Indian gear. Parents arrived, I nervously gave my mini speech, and then they performed beautifully. I was so proud of them! There was only one child who got scared and didn't do his part, but I always have a backup plan just in case this happens. This isn't the first time! Afterwards, we had a traditional Thanksgiving Dinner with a side of Asian food. It was delicious! The parents really came together and brought lots of food and were a wonderful help during clean-up. I feel so blessed to have such support.


While our pastor was praying this morning during our meeting, I hear my phone ring with what seemed to be the loudest ringer ever. Of course, I can't find it in my huge purse to silence it. So, I quickly run out of the room in embarrassment. It was my mom calling, so I immediately call her back. She told me that her car broke down and she might not be able to make it to her appointment (the one in which she was to find out the results to her CAT scan for her heart). Well I call my best friend and she comes to the rescue, picks my mom up, and even goes in with her to hear the results. (Just a side note: Rebecca, you're the best and I truly thank God for blessing me with your friendship.) God is so good and answers prayer because this afternoon my mom called me and told me the doctor said everything was fine. She was so happy and thankful for everyone's prayers. She was expecting terrible news, but God showed her He was in control the whole time. It was only about two weeks ago that her tests had come back abnormal, and she was told that she had some kind of blood leakage or splattering. I am so thankful for His goodness, and for turning one of my most stressful days, into one in which I can glorify Him for all He's done. To all who read this blog, thank you, thank you, and thank you so much for your prayers for my mom, it meant so much to me.

Friday, November 14, 2008

AN URGENT PRAYER REQUEST FOR MY MOM

Please pray for my mom. She got the results back from the tests she had done on her heart and they came back abnormal. This past week she had to have a CAT (Computed Axial Tomography) scan. She is 63, and is a little scared of what the final results of all her tests might be. She will be getting the results from the CAT scan on Tuesday, November 18. Because I live in another state, I'm not able to be with her during her doctor's visit. Please pray for God's comfort and that the results would come back negative. I truly appreciate your prayers of intercession!

Monday, November 3, 2008

My Fabulous Birthday

The Lord has truly blessed me beyond measure. I have such wonderful friends, and they made my birthday so special. I can't even begin to tell you how very spoiled I am. The day started off great and ended with a blast. I had a wonderful day at school. Everyone was so thoughtful. My friends brought their classes over to my class singing Happy Birthday and presenting me with gifts and chocolate. Tonight, we went to Outback Steakhouse for my birthday dinner. It was delicious! I had never been there before, so it was an experience to remember. My friends got together and bought me a keyboard, something I have been praying for, for quite some time. I still can't believe it. Not only that, I had the most beautiful cake. It had butterflies on it which I love and it was absolutely perfect. Then we headed to the mall for a special surprise. We went to Build A Bear and I got to build my very own bear! I have always wanted to do that! I just had the best birthday ever! Here are some pictures of the blessed event:


My beautiful butterfly cake!


Can you believe they got me a keyboard? What an answer to prayer!



My bear all dressed up.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The Note

This past week I got a note from 2 of my old students. They collaborated during recess and came up with this together and one of them gave it to me after school. It meant so much to me to know that they still miss & love me. HOW SWEET & SPECIAL!!!

Growing up in a public school, I never felt loved by my teachers. There were some who were nicer than others, but I don’t ever remember them telling us they loved us. How sad is that? So… I made it a goal in my classroom that my students will always know I love them and more importantly that God loves them. I get to tell them freely everyday that God loves them so much that He sent His Son to die for their sins so they can go to heaven.

As I think of the note I was given, I think of another note that God has given to the world. God’s Word, the Bible, is His personal love letter to us. In It, the pages are filled with His promises, His mercy, His compassion, His sacrifice, and His love is written all over it. Through It, we can find comfort, help in time of need, answers to life’s problems, and victory over temptations. When we read His Word…God speaks to us!!! He shows us His will, how to avoid wrong decisions, and the blessings that come from trusting Him and obeying what He says.

“Blessed Bible, sacred treasure
Precious Book of all the best
There is Comfort never failing
And a calm abiding rest.”

“Read with reverence, and commit it,
Verse by verse, and day by day
It’s the Word that God has spoken
And it shall not pass away.”

The Pumpkin Patch

FIELD TRIPS~ Now I have to admit that I don’t particularly love field trips, but it's a blast for my students so….away we go. This Friday, my Kindergarten class went to the “Pumpkin Patch” with the 1st & 2nd graders. The Pumpkin Patch is in quotes because it’s actually a carnival with a side of pumpkins. The kids got to jump on unlimited jump houses and obstacle courses, go on a hay ride, walk through a hay maze, and pick a pumpkin on the way out. What fun, huh? Well… not so much for the parent chaperones, who sat crowding around the only amount of shade available. Needless to say, I felt so sorry for them~ it was definitely hot. As I took pictures of the kids, I passed out some tracts to the workers. One lady named Christine said that she really needed to get back into church and would try to come. I saw another man looking through the tract I gave him as I walked away.

The highlight of our trip for me was when it was my class’s turn to go on the hay ride. Because the Pumpkin Patch is located near a mini outdoor mall, our hay ride on concrete passed through little shops and restaurants with outdoor eating areas. Not the normal type of hay ride you’d imagine, but still lots of fun. My students were so excited and waved at everyone they saw. They even wanted to sing songs. So… we waved and sang Jesus loves me, the B-I-B-L-E, & more. What really blessed my heart was when they would wave and say “Jesus Loves You!” to those who were passing by. It was so adorable!!! They thought of this on their very own. I didn’t tell them to say a word. They have such a love for God that they weren’t even ashamed to proclaim it. It was also a testimony to the unsaved workers who were driving and riding with us. If only we as adults would be so bold.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Singing His Praises

“I will praise thee, O Lord my God, with all my heart: and I will glorify thy name for evermore.” Psalm 86:12

The Lord is excellent, wonderful, my strength, and my song. He knows my deepest thoughts, my heart, and He loves me with a love that never fails even when I fail Him. He is so GOOD and He takes the time to think about me, one who is unworthy of anything good. Praise the Lord for His mercy and His compassion! As I reflect back on this week, here are some praises that I want to thank the Lord for:
1. My mom went to the doctor because she was having some chest pains and numbing in her arm. All of her tests have not come back yet, but she was prescribed some medicine and given tips to help her prevent a heart attack & stroke. I am very thankful that she went to the doctor before it was too late, and that everything seems to be okay so far. Please continue to pray for her! Another praise...The Lord’s been blessing like He always does, and she’s been getting a lot more tips at work even though business is really slow!
My beautiful mom- Can you believe she is over 60 years old?

2. My class gets out at noon, but I get to stay until the end of the school day, which I love because some of my former students come and visit me. So...I put a bowl of candy by my classroom door and at dismissal here they come. It can get crowded at times, and I know that it’s surprising, but sometimes they don’t even want the candy, they just come to say hi. Isn’t that just the sweetest? Well on Thursday, one of my girls from last year came and asked me if I could do her a favor and pray for her mom because she was out of town. At the time, I was talking to a parent from last year and told her of course I would, but instead of leaving the classroom to find her dad she just stayed there. So in the meanwhile, I continue talking to some kids and parents who have also come to visit. Her dad then comes in with her two other sisters, waits a little while, and then asks her, “Did you ask her?” and she says, “I’m waiting.” Then, she comes up to me with the sweetest voice and says, “Can you please pray for my mom with me.....right now?” It was so cute! I felt so bad because all that time she was waiting to ask me to pray with her right then. So in the midst of kids coming in and out of my classroom, all the noise and believe me it was NOISY, and kids playing, we bow down on our knees and I pray for her mom. It truly blessed my heart that she would ask me to pray with her. I just love working in a Christian school!

3. Just one more…. I was given a new kitchen for my classroom by a friend and former parent. Her daughter is now in 2nd grade. Wow, am I getting old! It is SUPER nice! My students saw it on Friday morning and were in awe. They loved it, even the boys wanted in on the action. Just last year I remember walking through Sam’s Club seeing a kitchen and so wishing I could afford to buy one for my class. Then, a couple of weeks later, I was given a small kitchen. And now… I have 2!

My old kitchen, which which was an answer to prayer.

My new kitchen, which is an special extra blessing.

Thank you for reading this blog and for all your encouraging comments. Have a great week serving the Lord!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Falling in Love with Fall

Did I mention that I love fall? I love the smells! I love pumpkin flavored deserts and pumpkin spice fraps from Starbucks! I love the change in weather and wearing a jacket! And....I love Old Fashioned Sunday at church! By the way, you have to check out the beautiful Praline Pumpkin Cake made by Starr at http://cookingwiththepreacherswife.blogspot.com/. The recipe is included. Doesn't it look delicious?
Well, here are my fall bulletin boards:

This is my favorite board because it is the witnessing scarecrow.
Do you see the tract in his hand?

We love thanking God for His blessings!

This is my second favorite and takes the longest to do because of all the leaves,
which I got at Walmart a couple of years ago in the floral section.

My students are great blessings and love to be helpers.

Our back door- where we head out into the cool fall weather for recess.

Have a wonderful day!



BLESSINGS FROM ABOVE


I thought I would share a few of my blessings from this past weekend. First of all, because money was a little tight this paycheck and I had to do some traveling, I wasn’t able to pay my portion of the cell phone bill (I share a plan w/ my mom). I explained the situation to my mom and she was very understanding. Moms are so awesome! They still help us out when we’re in a bind even when we’re adults and live in another state. I just love her! By the way, I feel terrible about it all because this doesn’t usually happen. I told her I would pay her as soon as I can. So in the meanwhile, I prayed extra that God would provide for her. And guess what? God never fails! God is good, ALL THE TIME! She called me on Friday and told me that she had received $43 in tips that day. I owed her $40, which God just provided for, plus He gave her an extra $3. What a blessing!

And of course the blessings continue… Today at church in the 8 & 9's Sunday School Class I help in, I got the opportunity to lead a little boy to the Lord. He came on the church bus for the first time last week and he was one of the ones chosen to be a part of the soda game we played. He seemed to enjoy class and I was so happy to see him come again. After the lesson, during today’s invitation, he raised his hand! It was so exciting to share the Gospel with him and to hear him pray to accept Jesus as his Savior! I thank God for the bus ministry. It’s because of the faithful bus workers that kids have an opportunity to go to church, hear the Gospel, and be saved.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Something to Laugh About

This past week, a student's parent came up to me smiling and told me the conversation she overheard her daughter telling a friend. We have been talking in class about obeying and when we obey, we do want God wants us to do, but when we disobey, we are listening to what the devil wants us to do. This is what she told her friend: "When we sin, we are listening to the devil and we're being like the devil, SO...then we'll have to sit on a tack all day!" I laughed because I knew she got the tack idea from that verse in a Sunday School song , "If the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack." The joys of teaching!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

My Classroom

It’s that time again when seasons change and so do my bulletin boards. Sometimes I dread changing them out because of all the work involved and the fact that I can be a perfectionist. At the same time, it is also exciting to change the room around and my students love it. I was able to get some good ideas when I went to a conference at Pensacola Christian College a few years ago. So… I thought that I would post some pictures of my classroom bulletin boards and maybe they might be a small help to someone else looking for ideas for their classroom. As soon as I finish decorating for fall, I’ll post those too.



My Welcome Board


We learn vowels first, and we sing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm"
using vowel sounds instead of animal sounds.



Fun with Numbers


An extra white board that I usually decorate. It is also magnetic, which is great. I can just put magnetic tape on the back of whatever I put on this board so that I can move things around easily.


I also like to decorate our back door so my students have something to look at when they line up to go out to recess. This door is metal and magnetic tape can also be used. I love magnetic tape!

Kids Say the Cutest Things


Sunglasses have become the big thing in my Kindergarten classroom. When we go to recess, a couple of my students have to put on their cool (Cars, Batman, Princess) sunglasses or they just won’t be able to play at recess. I asked one of my girls if she had any sunglasses, and she replied, “Before I became a Christian, I had Hannah Montana sunglasses, BUT… I threw them away.” This is coming from a 5 year old. It made me smile and it blessed my heart because she knows that when you get saved, no matter how old you are, there is a difference in your life.


“Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.” II Corinthians 5:17


“And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.” Ephesians 4:24

“Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.” I Peter 1:16

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

STAFF RETREAT

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us," Ephesians 3:20

Last week, our church staff headed to the California mountains for our annual Staff Retreat. It was absolutely beautiful and the weather was wonderful. We are definitely spoiled! During the retreat we had various sessions with our Pastor. He shared with us his vision for our church for the coming year, and he also challenged us from God's Word. It was so uplifting and inspiring. It is so exciting to be a part of a church where the King James Bible is preached every week without compromise, where souls are being saved, and lives are being changed for His glory.




The Pond & Mini Waterfall


The Single Girl's Chalet


An Old Log Cabin


The Gazebo

The view was absolutely beautiful, especially the sky at night!


Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Friday's Blessings

“Ain’t God good to give us so many blessings,
Undeserving that’s what we are.
We are to thank Him, love and praise Him,
A little more today, a whole lot more tomorrow.”

It was a fabulous day at school on Friday! God is so good to me and filled my Friday with His wonderful blessings. First, during dismissal, one of my moms came to pick up her son and brought me lunch. I taught two of her other children and she has become a friend of mine through the years. She is such a sweet and giving person. God has truly used her family to be a blessing to me. They are not a wealthy family, but they sacrifice and give in order to show their appreciation to others. Second, not only did she bring me lunch, but she also handed me a thank you card. Inside the card was a $50 visa gift card! What a surprise! I had some needs that only God knew about, and He used this family to provide for them. It is so amazing how God goes beyond what you can even imagine.
And the blessings continue… When one of my roommates came home from helping with a teen activity, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and my other roommate on a hot air balloon ride on Saturday morning. She was given free tickets. Of course, I said yes! I have never been on a hot air balloon ride before, and for that, I was even willing to sacrifice my sleeping in time. When we got there, it was too windy for the balloons to go up and so it was kind of a disappointment, but God is still good. On the way out, we saw a funnel cake stand and we bought one to share. It was made fresh and we absolutely loved it. In the midst of disappointment, God always has a blessing waiting around the corner. And the stand was literally around the corner!

The Effects of Public School

Last Friday, we were given an article that was published by the American Association of Christian Schools to put in our student’s packets. I found it very interesting and decided to post the following quote from the article: “Is Christian education what God wants for your children? Or would God prefer them to be educated in public schools where the Bible, prayer, and Jesus Christ are either ignored or dishonored? Consider this: Does God want your child to attend a school where creation is thought of as a fairy tale, where the concept of sin is mocked, where salvation is considered a figment of the imagination, where secular textbooks are used, and where God and His Son are treated as though they are dead, or at best, irrelevant? The truth is clear-if Christ, Bible truths, Biblical righteousness, and prayer are unwelcomed in a school, why support it?”

Later on that evening, the article I had read earlier came to mind. I was shopping with some friends, when I ran into a former student who left our Christian school to go to a public school. She was a couple of years older and it was evident the effect the lack of church and choice of school had on her. She kept fondly recalling her days in Kindergarten, and told me that she had been thinking of me. She remembered the day she left my class for the last time and how I cried. She asked me if I missed her, and asked about the other students who were in her class. As a teacher, you pour your life into your students and love them as your own. This is the girl who sat in my class as I taught her the Word of God, about salvation, and the importance of loving and serving the Lord. As she followed me around, it truly broke my heart to see so much of the world in her and to hear some of the things she said, without even a second thought. I know that the Lord is faithful and He still has a plan for her life. My prayer is that He would get a hold of her heart before worldly influences drive her farther away from Him.

Monday, September 15, 2008

BLESSINGS IN MINISTRY

"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord." I Cor. 15:58

I guess I never considered the position of a Kindergarten teacher as being in "the ministry". I felt the term should be reserved for the pastoral staff or special people like missionaries. BUT... since I usually spend more time at church than at home, I guess I'm in the ministry. I am so thankful that the Lord allows me to serve Him and that I get paid for doing what I absolutely love to do. I work for one of the best soulwinning, independent, Bible preaching, Baptist churches, and not to mention a top notch academy with a wonderful principal. I have learned so much from our pastor and my Sunday school teacher (his son), and I can't imagine serving anywhere else. Unless, the Lord moves me. Then, I would be willing to go anywhere and everywhere. Don't get me wrong, if I told you everything was picture perfect, I would be dishonest. There are times when I feel so exhausted and lack necessary sleep. There are other times when I just want to quit and give up. By the way, the devil is a great discourager and is usually the source of these thoughts. But, when I sit back and evaluate my life and ponder on what the Lord has saved me from and where He has brought me to, I realize that His blessings always outweigh the trials. There are so many blessings, I couldn't even begin to name them all.

One of the blessings happened this past week when I taught on the crucifixion & the resurrection of Christ during our Bible time at school. Because my students are so young, I usually don't give an invitation unless the Lord leads me to. The reason for this is that I don't want them to make a decision thinking they are pleasing me, but to make a decision because they are convicted of their sin and want to be saved. Therefore, at the end of our lesson, before we pray, I always remind them that if they want to be saved, they can come to me at any time, and I will show them from the Bible how to know for sure they are going to heaven. I give the Gospel daily and there is always an opportunity for salvation. Well after Kindergarten was over, one of my students asked his mom on the car ride home some questions about what I taught that day and asked if he could get saved. I didn't get to personally lead him to the Lord, but it was such a blessing to be a small part of his salvation. God is so amazing- to think that He would use us, who are so unworthy, to accomplish His plan of reaching the lost. He wants us to be a part of life's blessings if only we would surrender and yield our will to Him.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

God's Word


THE PRECIOUS BOOK



Though the cover is worn and pages are torn,

And though places bear traces of tears;

Yet more precious than gold is the Book worn and old,

That can shatter and scatter my fears.



When I prayerfully look in the precious old Book,

Many pleasures and treasures I see;

Many tokens of love from the Father above,

Who is nearest and dearest to me.



This book is my guide; It's a friend by my side;

It will lighten and brighten my way.

And each promise I find soothes and gladdens my mind,

As I read it and heed it each day.


Saturday, September 13, 2008

"How to Overcome the Flesh"

I am a new blogger and my purpose for blogging is that I might be a source of encouragement and help to anyone who happens upon my blog. I've read many blogs that have done the same for me. Maybe through my trials, mistakes, joys, and triumphs, someone may find God's answers to their own. Below are some of the notes I took on a message I heard two Wednesdays ago. It was a tremendous message!

Romans 7:15-23 "How to Overcome the Flesh"
1. Through Christ- vs. 24- this is foundational for both the saved & lost John 15:5; Phil. 4:13
2. Through the Holy Spirit- Gal. 5:16-25- walking in the Spirit is a daily surrender to God's will Ask God to control your life!
3. Through the Word- Ps. 119:9-11- How hard do we work to conquer the flesh?
4. Through Personal Discipline- Col. 3:1-25
a. Develop the right focus vs. 1
b. Mortify your members vs. 5- Stop feeding it & kill the desire
c. Put on the new man vs. 10- doctrine of replacement
d. Let the peace of God rule in your hearts vs. 15- Obedience=Peace
e. Let God's Word dwell in you richly- "The more of It in you, the less room there is for the
world."
f. Do all in the name of the Lord vs. 17- Would He agree with what you are doing?
g. Have the right family relationships vs. 18-21- Wrong relationships are in rebellion to God's
plan.
h. Remember there is a day of reckoning- We must give an account of ourselves to God. Our motivation should be to bring Him glory. We should have an upward focus not an outward one.